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Monday, April 04, 2005
Everything was make-believe.
Even the princess.

I requested for home at 9.30am because of my flu that had worsen. I ran under the rain with my red bag and bottle. I was drenched and I felt my temperature was going up. It took me thirty minutes just to register, and I was left alone for the next thirty minutes. The journey home made me shiver, literally. And all I hoped for was my Adidas jacket to accompany at that instant. The milo I drank burnt my tongue, and there I was again, running under the rain throughout the stretch of road that leads me home everyday. I felt pretty lonely under the cold cold rain.

And it was the same for tonight's dinner. I never thought I would bid farewell with thanks for coming, I'm going home and ran off like this. Never have I imagined a turnout like this. If someone had promised to come yet did not turn up, if almost everyone was late because of reasons like "I woke up late" or leaving house at the time you were supposed to reach the venue, if almost everyone was busy checking out each other's hp mp3 folder when you were there trying to co-ordinate of what to do later, and have to keep repeating the choices, if you have to stand outside a mall for almost 15mins - directionless, and had to run off with no one behind wondering if you were okay, do you still count that as a celebration? I wonder, and I know the answer.

I have thought too highly of myself - as a friend, in this matter. I have learnt my lesson of not hoping anymore, not in anything that concerns me. Maybe it is when I don't hope, I won't fall so hard that leaves pain in my heart. Maybe, maybe. 6th April; a day that I have scraped it off from my memory. No more make-believe from me, no more. The princess have died.

maoed.
at 11:24 PM